Hello! Nearly half way through January, and I’m finally emerging from my end-of-year blogging break, blinking in the sunlight like a bear emerging from hibernation. At least, that’s how I feel.
So, how are you? Good, I hope? Raring to grasp this new year for all it’s worth? Or feeling like you want to slink off to bed to wait until spring?
I think I’m somewhere in the middle. I’ve started my year incredibly positively, but it’s keeping the momentum going that’s the tricky bit. After doing Unravelling again on New Year’s Eve, I realised just how hard last year was for me. How much change I’d been through. And, actually, I recognised that I’m quietly proud of myself for coping so well. But I’m tired of coping. I want to move on to better things now. And so, after quite a lot of deliberation, I chose my word for 2016: NURTURE.
I want this year to be more settled. Less change would be great, just for a bit. I’d like to work slowly, quietly and lovingly towards my goals. To nurture them into bloom. As I mentioned in an older post, I don’t have grand plans for the rest of my life any more – and this is the year that I turn 40, after which who knows what comes next.
My plans for this year reflect that. They’re simply continuations of what’s already happening: trying to be a good mother, budgeting my way back to good financial health, saving up for a new home, going to Iceland, celebrating turning 40 (in a variety of ways, from dinner with friends to completing my first ParkRun) having a crack at making and selling skincare, keeping my allotment and trying my hand at some new creative stuff, just for the fun of it. I don’t want to have to be brave this year. I know that I can be–I’ve built a lot of resilience these past few years–but I’d like not to have to be this year. Not emotionally brave, at any rate. Brave enough to take on a stupid physical challenge is another matter entirely; who knows whether that will happen again this year! (Anyone up for a stupid challenge?)
And then there’s another plan: to try to be really, really good at my job. I know that might sounds like a weird personal goal (after all, don’t most of us daydream about never having to work again?) but for my own self-worth, I’d love to feel great at my job. There’s integrity in trying your best, for sure, but it’s also about learning as much as I can, finding the confidence to know what to focus on, trying to build more creativity into my work, finding ways to be more organised. Lots of things.
There is also a more selfish reason. I’m pretty sure that if I felt more confident in my abilities, it would also release me a bit from worrying about work when I’m not actually at work, therefore creating some peace of mind and space for thinking about other things. For playing, instead of being anxious. I’d love to finish work on a Friday, feeling confident that I’d done a really good job and that I was ready for what the following week would hold. That would be so good. I could get my brain back for the weekends! I suffer horribly from imposter syndrome, and so this is going to be a challenge, but I’m going for it.
To that end, and really to keep me focussed on my other gentle, nurturing plans for the year, I’ve invested in a Daily Greatness Journal. So far, it’s doing a really good job of keeping my mind where I want it to be. Again, it’s keeping the momentum going that will be the key to all of this. But I’m enjoying book-ending my days with journal writing and keeping track of whether I’m actually spending time on the things that I say I want to spend time on. It will hopefully keep my really positive start to the year going so that I don’t need to crawl back into bed and wait for spring…
Have you chosen a word or phrase for your year? Made any resolutions or set any intentions? I’d love to hear from you!