Dear … intuition.
If I’m honest, I know that I have spent a large proportion of my life not listening to you. Probably because I’ve been so focussed on plans, external guidance, doing what I think the world expects me to do, that I’ve not spent enough time listening to the wisest part of myself. The part that really knows how I feel, what I should do, how I can live better, what’s right for me.
I know that the times I’ve listened to you the most are when there has been some kind of emergency. When my instincts take over, cause me to react in certain ways. Usually, that’s been a motherly instinct to protect my children from the perils of life. Like last week, when my son shouted ‘I like edges’ as he teetered on the edge of a lake, and I had to grab him before he fell in… I think that was you then, knowing before the rest of me did, that he was going to slip. Thank you.
As I grow older, and as my life has undergone more upheaval, I find myself trusting you more in my everyday life; the bit without emergencies. Perhaps it’s because all those plans haven’t quite worked out as well as they might. Now, when I have choices to make, instead of writing a list to make my decision, I sit, eyes closed, and feel which choice I should make. Sometimes its not the most conventional one, but if you, intuition, are happy with it, then it’s the right one for me. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve managed to make such a success of my life by using other methods! It’s time for me to live a more honest life; one that relies on you, my intuition, instead of following a more usual, expected path. One that says yes to things that my intuition knows are a good fit, and says no to other opportunities if they don’t feel right, regardless of how that looks to the rest of the world.
Sometimes, if I can’t decide, I’ll toss a coin and see how you react to that. I don’t choose the side the coin has landed on, I choose based on your reaction. Because you’ve always known the answer, but sometimes I can’t hear you properly.
I need to remember that you’re not an external deity, not a voice inside my head, not anything other than the part of me who knows the most about keeping me safe, making me happy, making the right choices. Perhaps as I grow older, you grow stronger. Wiser, through experience. Definitely worth taking note of.
‘Trust instinct to the end, even though you can give no reason.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
PS: I found this ace Emerson (LOVE Emerson) quote on an excellent blog post from my friend Jen at Little Birdie. Go and have a read!